by Andy Nordvall
BORAT – Aw heck, you’ve already seen this film. Most of you, twice.
A GOOD YEAR – But what of the shallow Yuppies who don’t inherit a vineyard in Provence? What of them?, I ask you.
SANTA CLAUSE 3 – A terrific premise has Tim Allen going back in time to prevent the first two films from happening. Weirdly, the filmmakers seem to believe this would be a bad thing.
FLUSHED AWAY – A spoiled, pampered pet learns the same lesson spoiled, pampered pets always learn in kids’ movies. Namely, don’t be so spoiled and pampered. Oh, and be true to yourself.
STRANGER THAN FICTION – Has Charlie Kaufman trademarked “Charlie Kaufman-esque”? If not, he should.
BABEL – A film that shows us how interconnected and coincidental life is. Wait, did I say “life”? I meant “pretentious independent movies”.
DÉJÀ VU - I can’t shake the feeling I’ve seen this Jerry Bruckheimer/Tony Scott testosterone-fueled thriller before. Several times, in fact.
THE FOUNTAIN – A scientist’s wife writes a book about a conquistador who dreams of taking a tree into space. Or the space guy hallucinates that he’s a scientist researching a conquistador. Or something like that.
BOBBY – Robert Altman, we will miss you.
CASINO ROYALE – Who exactly wants more realism and less cheesy acting in a James Bond movie?
HAPPY FEET – It’s amazing how much mugging Robin Williams can do using just his voice.
by Andy Nordvall
BORAT – Aw heck, you’ve already seen this film. Most of you, twice.
A GOOD YEAR – But what of the shallow Yuppies who don’t inherit a vineyard in Provence? What of them, I ask you.
SANTA CLAUSE 3 – A terrific premise has Tim Allen going back in time to prevent the first two films from happening. Weirdly, however, the filmmakers seem to believe this would be a bad thing.
FLUSHED AWAY – A spoiled, pampered pet learns the same lesson spoiled, pampered pets always learn in kids’ movies. Namely, don’t be so spoiled and pampered. Oh, and be true to yourself.
STRANGER THAN FICTION – Act, you comedian, act!!!
BABEL – A story that shows us how interconnected and coincidental life is. Wait, did I say “life”? I meant “pretentious independent movies”.
This should be on right before To Catch A Predator.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OCozx0fqRU]
by Andy Nordvall
by Andy Nordvall
The Departed – This could be Scorsese’s year at the Oscars, provided no one’s made a film about the handicapped, retarded, or terminally ill.
The Prestige - Well, there’s a twist ending. I’m guessing it’s either: a) Christian Bale is a Ghost, b) Hugh Jackman is a figment of Edward Norton’s imagination, or c) Scarlett Johanssen’s really a dude.
Saw III – Another film that asks the burning question: How much more money can we squeeze out of a film franchise?
Flags of Our Fathers – It’s Clint Eastwood, so it’s patriotic, but it’s also praised by critics, so it’s not, you know, super-patriotic.
Dixie Chicks: Shut Up and Sing – A fascinating documentary that left me wishing a band I liked would get in trouble for bad-mouthing the president.
Death of a President – Surprisingly, he’s not shot by Dick Cheney.
Flicka – What is it about young girls and horses, other than the obvious repressed sexuality? And we learn Maria Bello has bills to pay just like the rest of us.
Infamous – Toby Jones nails Philip Seymour Hoffman in this behind-the-scenes look at last year’s Oscar winner.
Man of the Year – For everyone who thinks Jon Stewart would be much better if he replaced all those opinions and insights with vague, non-offensive wisecracks about all politicians being crooks, this is the movie for you!
