The Big News Report

Sarah Palin has been cramming like a high school senior during final exams for her debate tonight. She wants to somehow win the debate using the skills she learned answering beauty pageant questions.

She can win so much easier.

In this the age of YouTube and 15 second clips, she only needs to have one good moment to convince millions of people that she won. And here is all she has to do;

She has to walk over and slap Joe Biden in the face.

No, seriously. Halfway through the debate, when Biden is just killing her for not knowing anything about the world she wants you to think she is qualified for, she needs to take a moment of frustration and walk across the stage to where Biden is standing ,and take a giant swing at him.

No matter what Biden does in that split second reaction, he will be wrong. I mean, what are the options for this highly surprising situation?

1) Stand there and take it
If Biden does this, then the GOP can say, ‘Will Joe Biden stand up to terrorists if he can not even stand up to a hockey mom? And will he show such a lack of decision making if Osama Bin Laden attacks America again?‘

2) Duck out of the way
If Biden does this, then the GOP can say, ‘Why does Joe Biden fear the delicate strikes of a woman? Is he tough enough to lead this country? Does he simply fear women or does he hate them too?‘

3) Block the Punch
If Biden blocks it, then the GOP can say, ‘Look at Palin whupping this guy. When Al Qaeda shows up on our borders, will Joe Biden just try and cover up there as well?‘

4) Counterattack
If Biden does a wrap around defense and wrestles her to the ground then the GOP can say, ‘This guy attacks women! She was just going for a handshake in the name of good sportsmanship!‘

5) Death Strike
God willing if Biden jumps in the air and gives her a retaliatory spin kick followed by a Mortal Kombat style uppercut which knocks her head clean off then the GOP can say, ‘Arrest that man, he’s a murderer!‘ That and the GOP will then have the pleasant problem of replacing Palin on the ticket with no loss of face, well besides Palin’s of course.

So there it is, if Sarah Palin wants to win the debate tonight then the answer is clear, resort to violence and there is no way Biden can win.

-Ray
www.almightyray.com